Glossary of skills and terms
A list of the terms we talk about, and what each one involves. As we introduce new skills, we will add them here. Think we missed something? Send us an email at mindsinbloombooks@gmail.com
Clinical skills we have covered or will cover in the near future:
“Balanced thinking” — the idea that changing the way we think can change how we feel and act. This skill is also known as “cognitive restructuring” and “cognitive coping”. The goal of this skill is to balance the thought by making a hurtful or unhelpful thought more true and more helpful.
“Body neutrality” — the practice of talking about our bodies in plain, non-judgmental language. This skill can help us have a healthy relationships with our bodies and also to feel more satisfied with our bodies.
“Co-regulation” — a set of strategies designed for temper tantrums and other moments when a young child’s brain is so angry it has trouble processing information. Co-regulation involves the parent doing skills to help guide the child through the meltdown and modeling for the child how they could regulate themselves in the future — including using their own coping skills, offering comfort, validating emotions, praising regulation, and maintaining boundaries.
“Emotion regulation” — refers to the skills we use to understand, manage, and respond to our feelings in healthy ways.
“Anger management” is one part of emotion regulation. This specific set of skills that help kids (and adults!) recognize rising anger, express it safely, and use coping strategies to bring their bodies and brains back to a calmer state.
“Exposure” — the idea that approaching safe things we’re afraid of makes them less scary and builds confidence.
“Flexible thinking” — being able to try new ways of doing or saying things. This skill boosts emotional well-being by helping kids handle changes, solve problems, and build positive relationships with others.
“Gratitude” — the practice of noticing something we’ve been given, thinking about the giver’s kind or helpful intent, feeling positive emotions because of what we received, and showing our appreciation. This skill boosts well-being and happiness.
“Mood-boosting activities” — the idea that doing an activity we typically enjoy, especially when energy is low or nothing sounds fun, can actually help boost our mood. This skill is also known as “behavioral activation” or “activity scheduling”.
“Noticing feelings in the body” — using bodily sensations (how our bodies feel) to help identify what emotion we’re experiencing, which can help us manage big emotions.
“Observing” — noticing and accepting a distressing or unpleasant thought or emotion (like sadness or worry thoughts), without trying to fight or change it.
Note: This skill is sometimes called “acceptance.” We don’t always love that term, because sometimes people think we’re asking them to just “accept” being bothered by something distressing, like worry or sadness. Really, we’re asking you to accept that your brain sometimes has worry thoughts or sad thoughts, and help you learn to choose how much you listen or pay attention to them. That’s why we prefer the term “observing” instead.
“Reflective listening” — a way of responding to your child that lets them know you heard them and that you understood what they wanted you to know. It is also sometimes called “active listening”. This listening style usually involves labeling the emotion they are expressing and mirroring back what they said.
“Savoring” — intentionally paying attention to, naming, and talking about events and experiences that make one happy.
“Self-regulation” — the idea that practicing pausing our bodies can help build our capacity for listening, focusing our attention on one thing, and shifting our attention to another task when needed.
“Self-compassion” — the practice of being kind and understanding toward yourself, especially when you’re struggling. It is also sometimes called “compassionate self-talk”. It means talking to yourself with the same type of gentle words that you’d offer a loved one who’s struggling.
“Safety skills” — the idea that actively practicing skills for handling risky or dangerous situations empowers kids and helps them avoid harm.
“Special time” — a daily, one-on-one play routine where the child leads, and the parent gives warm, positive attention and narrates the play without directing, correcting, or teaching.
“Specific praise” — involves pairing praise language (e.g., “good job”, “great try”, “awesome effort”) with a clear description of the child’s behavior, so the child can learn exactly what behaviors the parent wants them to repeat. This skill is sometimes also called “labeled praise” or “behavior-specific praise”.
Treatments:
“Cognitive behavioral therapy” — also called CBT. A form of therapy that helps people identify and change unhelpful patterns of thinking and behavior.
“Parent-child interaction therapy” — also called PCIT. A form of therapy for kids ages 2-7 which focuses on improving the relationship between parents and kids while reducing disruptive behaviors.
“Positive psychology” — a type of psychology focused on doing things to increase well-being and positive emotions (rather than just focusing on reducing negative emotions). Positive psychology includes skills like savoring and gratitude.
How we talk about people:
When we’re referring to autism spectrum disorder, we follow guidance from Child Mind Institute and interchangeably use the terms “kids with autism” and “autistic kids.” With many conditions and disorders, autism included, many people find it more respectful to say “kids with autism” to make it clear that the disorder is not the only thing that defines the child (this is called “person-first” language). On the other hand, some people view autism as core to who they are and like using “autistic” as an adjective (just like you might say “the Hispanic girl”). This is called “identity-first” language. To acknowledge both sets of preferences, we alternate between the terms.