Parent's Guide: How to use specific praise

Build confidence and connection by naming the good you see.

What does this guide cover?

This guide can be used daily to turn “good job” into meaningful feedback that helps your child actually change their behavior. The goal of specific praise is to “catch” your child doing behaviors you want to see more of and tell them exactly what behaviors you noticed so they know what to do again to get positive attention in the future. This skill can be applied across a wide range of behaviors, such as when they see or hear their child being kind, calm, or brave. This approach strengthens both skills and relationships with one simple step.

Why specific praise doesn’t fuel kids’ anxiety
Some parents worry that praising their child will make them anxious about always having to “be good” or “do it right.” That concern makes sense, but specific praise works differently from judgment-based praise. When you say things like “You’re such a good kid” or “You’re so smart,” children can feel pressure to keep earning approval. In contrast, specific praise focuses on th…