Reflective Listening Formula

Support your child’s emotional growth with science-backed listening tools.

This week, we are sharing a great tool for practicing reflective listening when your child shares a feeling or a story with you. Reflective listening is when you listen closely to your child, then repeat back what you hear — both their words and their feelings — so they know you understand. It helps kids feel seen, safe, and more willing to talk. This is one of our favorite go-to parenting communication skills!

To use this formula, choose one option from each column, and then put it all together in a short reflective statement (e.g., “It sounds like you felt frustrated when she yelled at you.”). Naming a specific feeling word when reflecting back their emotion helps kids feel understood, builds emotional vocabulary, and teaches empathy over time.

We also recommend trying this tool when having difficult conversations with kids and teens. Because no parent wants to see their child upset, our first instinct as parents is often to tell our kids all the reasons they don’t need to feel as u…