Self-compassion ideas for parents
Ideas for talking to ourselves kindly.
Parenting is challenging. With one million choices every day and sometimes what feels like no right decision, it’s easy for parents to be hard on themselves. When things don’t go our way, it can be so easy to pile on to ourselves, telling ourselves we’re bad parents or that we made the wrong decision. Self-compassion is the skill of treating yourself with empathy, understanding, and kindness, even when you’re suffering or struggling.
Practicing self-compassion during all the ups and downs of parenting can help parents stay grounded even when getting through the day is tough or when kiddos are having big emotions. This article from Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center offers ideas for how parents can stop beating up on themselves. One of the key skills highlighted in the article is that stopping to acknowledge our own pain or struggling — simply by saying, “this hurts,” or “this situation is so challenging” can make a big difference. The idea is to talk to ourselves in the way we would to a friend going through a tough time.
Research supports the idea that when parents are compassionate, it benefits both parents and kids’ mental health and well-being.
Parents can also use this guided self-compassion meditation from the Compassion Mind Research Group.